My elder sister called, father was well after 4 days in ward. But today he fell down, worsen his condition. She asked my opinion about some signs, black stool, edema, and lethargy. I was telling her, let him rest well, it might be due to heart problem. I was studying at library at that time, with my roommate, sharifah.
My brother called me; “I might go back tonight, wanna come with me?” he’s at Balok, Kuantan, living with his wife and a little son. “I’m intending too, but I have my end block exam tomorrow. Alright, see how I can handle this.” I replied.
“sha, my father’s condition is worsening. Should I go back?” my mind thinking fast, arrhythmic mind. Half-hearted. Blank.
I called my mother’s phone no, but my brother in law replied “father has passed away. About 10 minutes ago...mother beside him, kak dah (eldest sister) get his last words too…insyaAllah everything is fine, do pray for him…”
“ohh..alhamdulilllah..i’m going back tonight with keru (my brother)”… i felt my voice vibrating, my mouth dehydrating with no feeling.
Classmates, seniors, friends were coming non- stop, soothing me. Consoling me. Alhamdulillah. Thank you , friends. That maghrib, we perform jenazah ghaib prayer. After informed my dean, I went back. 6 hours journey to Kelantan.
Monday, 31st January 2011
I stepped into house. I saw most of my family members already in. At the corner of living room, I saw father. Sleeping well, resting in peace… Al-Fatihah
Diriku bisa seperti yang lain,
Yang kau sayang
Yang kau rindukan
Yang kau cintai
Aku lemah tanpamu, aku lelah…
Aku sungguh tak berdaya
Setiap air mata ku mengalir,
Allah, aku lemah dan tak berarti
Setiap derai tangis Membasahi
Allah jangan tinggal aku lagi…
Aku sayang Allah
Aku rindu Allah
Aku cinta Allah
jatuh hati pada tempat yang salah
ragu2 dengan keputusan.
terdesak dengan dunia. melewakan akhirat
membuka pintu syak
kembalilah mencintai Allah
Dia Maha Penyayang